Category : Stories
What has just happened one evening in the matt I had boarded is what can be safely called #Respiratory_hijacking. One of the people sitting at the back of the matt had sounded alarm at the rapid change in the composition of air saying ”Ebu fungua hii dirisha kuna mtu ameachilia kitu hapa” and within few seconds the driver of the matt had lowered the volume just to testify that his nostrils had also picked up some foreign smell saying ”kwani huyo mtu alikula nini…imefika hadi huku”. The whole matt was now talking about it some saying they felt its impact and magnitude but thot maybe the matt had stopped near an open drain, some elderly Swahili lady was busy lamenting how people nowadays don’t have manners saying ”Na hata hana aibu, tuko kwa jamu badala ya ashuke aende akaliondoe huko nje anaifanyia mumu humu ndani”��.
One of the passengers suspected the conductor to be the architect of the now famous fart as shortly before its effect, the conductor had visibly ”stepped outside to look for change” and all of us seemed to be in agreement with him. Someone even went further to say ”Dereva next time ambia huyo conductor awache kukula githeri haijaiva vizuri na Avocado imeoza” . I looked back at him, was very tempted to correct him and alert him that what they had inhaled was a fart rich in digested grilled meat (Athola) some fried fish & vegetables that I had ingested today at #Ronalo_kosewe (#Supreme_Leader_Titoh can attest to that) but this was not the time to take responsibility, they had already made their verdict. And to appear very agonised by the happenings so as not to raise suspicion, I also joined the mob justice saying ”Huyo conda ajiangalie vizuri kabla arudi kwa gari juu labda amejiharia ehh”. While flapping myself with the magazine I had carried.
*The barging questions (more of verbal assaults) that met the conductor when he came back esp from that swahili elderly lady…….I hope to be forgiven one day!!
This blog has been published courtesy of Kevin Soko.