9 Types of people in a ma3: Who reps you?
Category : Stories
The TseTse Man: You know this guy! The Heavy sleeper in a mat who no sooner has he/she sat on the mat than you notice his head leaning on your shoulder/ or the front seat infront/ head swinging around like a pendulum. They might snore when they are really tired or go passed their stage.
The AirFreshner: Always opens windows, they seem to be lacking oxygen or something. Their nostrils are stuffed immediately they get into a matatu. “Fungua hizo dirisha bana!” Perhaps its a true lung defect. But who am I to jugde?
The MegaPhone: Mats are usually playing loud music, sometimes annoying when the speakers and tweeters are unbalanced but do they care?? They receive calls loudly and compete with the speakers for attention. And why are they always trying to seal a deal or trying to explain where the keys were left yesterday since they late?? But let me give them credit for sometimes switching in between languages when they notice they too loud or in a quiet mat. Hail Mega Phones!
The Complainer: These guys complain about everything and anything; the route being used, the journey being too long, the traffic, the police… Am usually like, “Tuko Nairobi bana”!! But don’t mind them. But you can mind if they interrupting your novel time or chat time; give an ear and say words like “enyewe!” “Kumbe!” “Waah!” and you’ll be safe.
The Insecure: You know them! Or perhaps you fit into the description Anyway these guys ALWAYS nags the conductor for his/her change. I dont blame them though; most likely they left change for a 5sok or thao sometime back on a mat and the fear of loosing another one is soooo fervent! But there those who complain about about 10 bobs or mbaos. These are the most dangerous creators in a mat!
The Walking Studio: So there are all these screens in a mat, the music is out of this world and they decide to put on their earphones/ headphones, am not judging am just saying it looks abit odd.
The Active Matatureans: Classic, Radio Jambo, Kiss etc have proven to be really interesting in the morning or evening and some guys cannot help but listen to radio convos and laugh loudly. I mean you can try to “shikilia kicheko” bana. It can be really embarrassing especially if its an off topic, ama?
The ManofTheMat: Man spreading as defined in an earlier blog is the term used to describe those people — usually men — who sit and take up two spaces in a matatu. They forget they are in a public place and still thinking they are at home. Sorry you just have to sit squeezed like a chicken and not even be able to text till you alight!
The Co-Driver: You know them! They always like to seat infront with the driver. No sooner does a mat stop than they ran to open the door. And ofcourse if youve lived in Nairobi you know that those doors have to be opened from inside “juu ya makanjo” so one has literally beg the driver to open; and there those who don’t.